I could feel the cold pierce through my bottoms and the cement on the floor felt literally like I was wearing them instead of my trousers. My whole body was sending shivers in intervals of two seconds and I tried so hard to calm myself so that I am not interpreted as a “sissy” My imagination was running its cause and by now my bladder had finally realized that it had enough pressure for the day and it was ready to let loose. “No! please not now, not like this!” I was trying to tell myself.I cannot remember the last time I wet myself but I did not want today to be recovering a tbt moment.
“Wairimu kuna mmoja ananukia perfume poa amekaa karibu na mimi” One lady said and from sense of it, it seemed she was right behind me. My heart almost rushed out of my ribs. I literally felt her hand on my back as she began to fish for I donno what. I literally froze, I could not begin to believe that my first lesbian encounter would be in a prison cell. Its not that I fancy it at all, but the thought of it almost gave me a heart attack at 20.
Sooner than later the police brought in another cellmate. I gathered all my courage and asked her where the loos were. She pointed to a small room next to the cell. I stood up and headed in that direction. I was direct hit by a brainwashing pungent smell that directly told me that clearly this is a public toilet. I did not have the luxury of refusing to use the facility, it was my only hope of relieving myself. I slowly entered and tried to mark a safe place to stand and aim at the hole without carpeting my feet on other people excretions. For the first time in my life, I actually appreciated the IKO TOILET in town which seem like out of this world facility compared to this one. I got to it as fast as I could as I held my breathe like my life depending on it. The seconds ended as first as they started and I was done and back to the Dark Tomb.
I spotted a position while I got back in and placed my bottoms back on the cold floor. Eergk!
Laughter rented the air no sooner had I sat down. “Hizo choo siwezi ingia unasikia huko ndio Omondi alihara jana na hawakupangusa!”(sorry for my open language if it upsets you in any way) My body sent shots of electric shock imagining that I has actually walked on someone’s watery poopie. I wanted to cry but I could not afford to. The imagination of looking like a wimp reminded me of OZ and I preferred to act like am the rambo in this situation.
Ten minutes felt like an eternity, I did not want to imagine how long this night would be. Shashi was a name I picked from the dark room and she seemed like she was the nicest of the lot. She loudly narrated her first encounter in a cell, I did not know exactly what her intentions were. Her encounter soothed me for like 5 seconds before I felt someone breathing through my neck.
“Aki Shashi hii perfume nitafuta nikitoka, labda Pato ataacha ufala na yule dame akuwe wangu!” ( Shashi, I will look for this perfume once I get out of here then Patrick will stop being stupid with his babe and come to me>>> Direct translation) Someone was actually sniffing my neck. Watching Jeepers Creepers was not close to my worst experience with fear but this moment in time my paranoia brain had drawn wierd scenarios of what this cell babe would do to me.
I remember muttering a few Hail Marys, over and over again. I couldn’t even afford to shut my eyes despite how tired I was feeling. The imagination that these cell babes might get away with sniffing me dry petrified the hell out of my wits.
No sooner had the cell gate opened and the cop called out my name, than I sprouted up and was ready to pull a Vivian Cheruiyot Marathon out of there (Check Olympics2015 she is dope). My dad was standing there with the most stern stare I had ever seen. I have never been happier to see a familiar face, I remember finding myself clinging to him by the neck and my legs went round his waist like a 2 year-old.
All in all, the hours spent in the cell, felt like a whole night had passed but funny enough I got home in time for the 9 o’clock news. #sigh