AND IT ALL CAME DOWN part 2

I woke up still feeling drowzy and utterly confused. My head was spinning as if I had just come out of a merry go round. My mother-in-law was vigorously fanning my face, I could hardly see anything . I finally rose from the seat trying to scan my surrounding. “Where am I?” I asked my mother in law.

” You are at the hospital!” my mother in law answered.

“What happened? Am I sick? Where is my husband? ” I asked

” Jude had an accident, that’s why we are here!” Jude’s sister Makena answered.

“What happened? is he alright? Can I see him?” I choked as  I tried to rise up from the seat entirely.

” We are waiting for the doctor’s report!” Makena replied.sad-woman

This day appeared longer than it should. Everything that was happening seemed more like a dream than reality. Lets go back to the lady who picked up my husband’s phone, I wanted to know who that was and why she even dared to pick up his phone and she knew he was a married man, what right did she have. I scanned the corridor outside my husband’s ward and spotted the same lady from the restaurant. I could feel my face heat up with rage and fury if I was any lighter I would resemble a very ripe tomato because I felt my face turn red (I watch too many cartoons that’s why). “what in the world is she doing here?” I ranted. I woke up ready to face this turmoil that has now become part of my marriage. Makena noticed my uneasiness and followed behind. Hardly had I made the first step, than the doctor arrived with the life changing news.

“I am so sorry madam we did everything we could but …” I fainted before he finished his sentence. The only thing that registered right before I fell to the ground is that my husband is dead. My mother-in-law was back at it again fanning and hoping she didnt have to loose two people on the same day but that was my interpretation.

I finally woke up in a room, Makena was seated right next to the bed. “They had you checked! You are fine, just a little shaken but you will be okay!” She mumbled. There was not much to say after that but I was still curious of what was happening.

“Where is everybody else?” I asked.

“Some have gone home but mum is with Jude, he finally woke up to the news!” She answered.

“I have never seen my brother cry like that! I couldn’t watch, thank God you are here I made the excuse to come watch over you.”She added.

At first , I thought Makena was hallucinating but she seemed okay better than most people would handle a hospital visit but after she mentioned Jude cried, I almost asked her a stupid question of why a dead man would cry but I withheld my questions.

“Jude is alive! You mean he did not die! that’s why he is crying right?” I asked.

“Yes Jude is alive but he is not crying because he is alive, He is crying because the doctor …”She remembered that I did not know the whole story and woke up and excused herself to go to the loo.

All manner of thoughts ran over each other in my brain, I did not know what to think or what not to think. Everything was possible at that point, anything and everything. We were in a hospital, this is where you can expect any outcome even death. Tears made their way down my cheeks in streams and streams and my heart felt so heavy I could barely breathe. I wanted to walk over to my husband’s room to find out what was happening but my knees were to weak. I began to shake in fear, anxiety and tension due to the fact that I may be loosing my husband or something worse other than death had happened to him.person_in_hospital_bed

Within a few minutes which seemed like hours, the doctor came back released me and led me to my husband’s ward. I began to cry like a child, sniffing my nose to prevent the mucus from trickling down. All this time,I still don’t know what was happening but my fear overwhelmed me. What doctors have to deal with its amazing how calm they are!  We finally arrived at my husband’s ward and I immediately spotted the lady from the restaurant again. I had forgotten about her. However, I did not have the energy to pick up a fight so I gave a quick nod and move towards my husband.

The news was finally broken to me but at that point, I was just glad my husband was alive, I did not take time to internalize what was being said. I did not realize that my life was about to change and everything I had planned for may never take place.

After days and days of wiping tears, hugging each other and trying to come to terms with the new developments, my husband asked everyone to leave his room and that I may be left behind with the lady from the restaurant. I later found out that her name was Neema.

Neema and I face to face with my husband. The white elephant in the room was about to be exposed. I had been receiving all sorts of news over the last week I was armed for anything at this point.

“Neema, this is my wife, Josephine, and Josephine this is Neema” my husband hesitantly introduced us.We exchanged plain glances and looked back at my husband. “Neema is the mother of my son, she recently disclosed this information to me two months ago at the restaurant  but the pregnancy happened 6 years ago even before we met.”

At this point I don’t know whether to cry, laugh, or be angry, a medley of emotions was swirling in my system not sure what to channel out so I just sat there and did absolutely nothing .

“I was meeting with her to discuss the terms of how we will now introduce him to the family and include him as part of our family  but the accident happened while I was taking Neema home”

In a split second impulse I remembered the dinner I had prepared for him to beg for his forgiveness and how he did not attempt to text me back or tell me this for the past two months and immediately  I got angry, I wanted to strangle him with the tubes but I kept my calm.

“So once I get out of hospital , we can discuss this new turn of events with Neema and come to an agreement.” My husband added.

Just to bring you closer to home, my husband was now paralyzed from the waist down, he had a child with his former girlfriend and now we are about to adopt his new (not so new) son into our family and last but not least I will never have kids with my husband after the recent paralysis. That was my take home that day…

I am still trying to figure out when the happily ever after happens.

And it all came down!!

 

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